1. Forgive and Forget the Past
The first step to moving forward is looking forward. If you’re focusing your energy on the past, you’ll never get anywhere. Instead, focus on the things you can do now that will affect your future. Nothing’s going to change by focusing on arguments you had with your ex. It doesn’t matter who was right or wrong, and, if resolution were possible, you’d still be together. Forgive your ex and move on; not for them, but to enable you to find new love.
2 . Love Yourself
Once you’ve forgiven yourself and let go of the past, it’s time to discover how to be comfortable in your own skin. We all have flaws and that’s o.k. Maybe you’re not the smartest, strongest, funniest, or most physically appealing person – whatever your shortcomings are, it doesn’t mean you’re never going to find someone who will love you for who you are instead of loathing you for what you’re not. Stand up tall and be proud of who you are, whomever that may be; that way, when you find new love, you’ll recognize each other.
3. Decide What You Want
Now that you’re comfortable with yourself, spend a little time doing you and discovering what it is you truly want. When you were a kid, you didn’t know what a government, economy, money, job, or any of that other stuff was; it was just you and your dreams. As you got older, you were taught how to fit into society. Somewhere in between your dreams and the reality you fit into is what truly makes you happy, and that’s where you’ll find new love that’s worthy of your time, effort, and resources.
It’s important that you and your partner enjoy and support the same things. This doesn’t mean that sharing a love for hip-hop is an automatic reason to share a bond, but it does mean that if you enjoy an active lifestyle, a couch potato probably isn’t the best match for you. You’ll know when you find new love that’s real when you support each other.
4 . Check Your Fears at the Door
I’ve heard countless people say they don’t open themselves up because they don’t want to get their heart broken again. It’s easy to be cynical about matters of the heart: people are liars, selfish, and only like you because they want something. If you’re afraid of being hurt, you’re going to be hurt. You won’t be comfortable and you won’t act like the real you.
Confidence is essential to finding true love, so stop being afraid. Break out of your comfort zone and open yourself up to trying new things with someone new. Talk about yourself without fear of judgment; if the person you’re with judges you, they weren’t the right person, and it’s better you find out sooner than later.
5. Stop Looking for Love in All the Wrong Places
You can most definitely meet someone at a bar, but it’s a crap shoot; people are amped up, drunk (and likely on other substances) in the club, and there’s a good chance the person isn’t really who they say they are. If you’re doing you, you’re already in the ideal places to meet someone who shares similar interests. Instead of sitting around at home all day, go out and enjoy life. You’ll bump into people doing the same thing and can form an immediate connection.
6. Keep Calm, and Go Online
Don’t limit your search for love. Aside from going out and talking to people, you can also search online. Dating sites and social media sites are filled with people looking for a connection. Paid dating sites often have a better chance of success as the payment filters out many people who aren’t serious about dating, but remember that internet people are still people like everyone else, so treat them as such, and use your instincts.
Dating sites aren’t the only places to find love online; people have connected and hooked up on Twitter, Facebook, Instagram, Snapchat, in video games, on YouTube, and all over the internet. Human connection is something we all need, so anywhere there are people, there’s always someone seeking a connection.
7. Patience Is a Virtue
Overnight success is a myth, even in love. Although you can successfully make a connection (and push it to the point of fornication) within a night, don’t expect the first person you meet to be “the one.” You may get lucky on your first swing, but don’t give up. Just because you’re looking for true love doesn’t mean you can’t enjoy the journey; dating is supposed to be fun, not a chore.
True love can be found anywhere; as long as you’re out there searching, you’re doing the right thing. Let go of your inhibitions and put yourself out there. Smile, laugh, and enjoy life with the people around you – sooner or later, you’re going to find someone who you truly love and who truly loves you. Remember, there’s someone out there for everyone and you won’t find them if you don’t try. If you’re still unsure, hit me up on Twitter – I’m more than happy to lend a hand in matters of the heart!