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你根本察觉不到虐待方式:汽灯心理施虐方式

2019-01-06 来源:国外网站推荐 - 由[国外网站大全]整理 36

  是的,有这样一种虐待,你通常发现不了。它在心理学上有个术语,叫 gaslighting,直译过来是“用煤气灯照你”。

  

  Gaslighting is a harmful form of psychological abuse in which a person or entity attempts to gain power over others by purposely making them question their own recollection of events, perception of reality, and ultimately their sanity.

  

  “汽灯”是一种能造成伤害的心理施虐方式,它指的是:通过故意让受害者怀疑自己对事件的记忆、怀疑自己对现实的感知、并最终让他们怀疑自己的理智,从而达到控制他们的目的。

你根本察觉不到虐待方式:汽灯心理施虐方式

  As used in clinical research, literature, and political commentary, the term comes from the 1938 Patrick Hamilton play “Gas Light,” and its film adaptations released in 1940 and 1944, in which a murderous husband slowly drives his wife insane by progressively dimming their home’s gas-powered lights without her knowledge. When his wife complains, he convincingly tells her that the light has not changed.

  

  Gaslight 这个词现在已经常常出现在临床研究、文学以及政治评论里了,而它最早是出现剧作家帕特里克·汉密尔顿在1938年所创的戏剧《煤气灯下》,这部戏剧后来分别在1940年和1944年被改编成电影。在剧中,心狠手辣的丈夫瞒着妻子逐渐调暗家里的煤气灯,以此将她慢慢逼疯。当妻子抱怨家里暗的时候,他总是很笃定地告诉她家里的亮度并没有变。

  

  任何人都可能遭受“汽灯”,全球范围内的家暴施暴者、反社会人士、独裁者和异端团体往往都精通此道。善用这种方法的人常常是富有魅力的骗子,他们总有办法掩盖自己的邪恶行径。

  

  比如,家暴的施暴者可能会充满深情地否认自己的暴力行径,或者会想办法然对方认为自己罪有应得,或者让对方认为自己其实享受这种状态。

  

  Ultimately, gaslighting victims lower their expectations of what constitutes true affection and start to see themselves as being less deserving of affectionate treatment.

  

  最终,汽灯的受害者会降低自己的预期,逐渐接受现状,认为它很正常。

  

  The gaslighter’s ultimate goal is to instill a feeling of “I can’t believe my eyes” causing their victims to second guess their perception of reality, choice, and decision, thus increasing their level of trust in and dependence on their abuser for helping them “do the right thing.”

  

  汽灯操纵者的最终目的是巩固受害者心中那种“我不能相信自己”的感觉,让受害者质疑自己对现实的感知、质疑自己的选择,从而让他们更加依赖施暴者、认为施暴者才知道什么是“对的”。

  

  汽灯的持续时间越长,它对受害者心理健康造成的伤害就越严重。最极端的情况下,受害者会完全接受施暴者创造的虚假现实,他们会停止寻求帮助、拒绝亲朋好友的介入,至此变得完全依附于施暴者。

  

  这种汽灯技术通常设计得很巧妙,让受害者很难察觉。大多数情况下施暴者都会为自己设计出能隐瞒事实的环境。

  

  比如,一个汽灯操控着可能会把爱人的钥匙从通常放置的地方移开,让对方以为是自己放错地方了。然后操纵者会“帮助”受害者找到钥匙,并告诉受害者“看吧,你总是放在这里。”

  

  Common Signs of Gaslighting:

  

  汽灯的征兆通常包括:

  

  You seem to be second-guessing or doubting yourself more often,

  

  你越来越怀疑自己,或者越来越拿不定主意。

  

  You constantly wonder if you might be “too sensitive.”

  

  你一直怀疑自己是不是“太过敏感”。

  

  You often feel confused, possibly to the point of doubting your own sanity.

  

  你经常感到很困惑,可能已经到了怀疑自己理智的状态。

  

  You constantly feel you need to apologize to your partner.

  

  你一直觉得自己应该对伴侣道歉。

  

  You wonder why, with so many good things in your life, you are so unhappy.

  

  你的生活中有很多美好的东西,但你很疑惑自己为什么不幸福。

  

  You frequently feel the need to make excuses for partner’s behavior.

  

  你时常觉得需要为伴侣的行为找借口。

  

  You often withhold information about your partner’s behavior from friends and family.

  

  你常常对朋友或家人隐瞒自己伴侣的行为。

  

  You know something is very wrong, but can’t quite figure out what it is.

  

  你意识到生活中有什么地方不对,但就是搞不清是什么。

  

  You struggle to make what should be simple decisions.

  

  一些很简单的决定对你来说很艰难。

  

  You constantly feel that you need to be a “better person.”

  

  你一直觉得自己应该做一个“更好的人”。

  

  You feel hopeless and joyless.

  

  你觉得无望、生活没意思。

  

  You wonder if you are “good enough” partner.

  

  你怀疑自己作为一个伴侣是不是“足够好”。

  

  一旦受害者意识到自己遭受了汽灯,他们通常能从受害状态恢复过来,重建对自身现实的信心。

  

  通过重建那些自己曾今荒废的人际关系,受害者通常能够更好地恢复。而孤立自己则只会让施暴者越来越掌控局面。

  

  当受害者意识到有人能给自己提供精神上的支持后,他们将能更好地重建对自己的信任。而当这种信任重建以后,他们就有能力切断与施暴者的关系了。


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